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We searched for engagement ring etiquette and related terms and found that many authorities say the ring should be returned. But opinions vary according to who breaks off the engagement and whether you follow the rules of etiquette or the law. Most traditional and even modern etiquette resources say that the woman must at least offer to return the ring. This is widely regarded as the honorable thing to do, especially if the woman breaks the engagement. If the man calls off the wedding, some suggest
that the woman may keep the ring (or hope he's such a gentleman that he wants her to keep it). In any case, if the engagement ring would only be a reminder of painful circumstances, the lady may want to return it. The legal point of view seems to follow etiquette. In 1999, Pennsylvania's Supreme Court ruled that the woman must give the engagement ring back. The reasoning was that "the ring was a gift predicated on getting married."
So, if the wedding is off, the ring should come off -- and should be returned.
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